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You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v.2

You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently stayed in your hotel - Ibis Hotel Heidelberg, for about a week. The temperature was unusually higher during this period and unfortunately, the air conditioner in my room was not fully operational. I am writing this letter to complain about the bad experience I have had due to this and would like you to take steps so that it does not happen again. I checked into the hotel at midnight on 14th July and straightaway went to bed. However, after turning the air conditioner on, I realised that the room was not getting cooler and the room temperature was peculiarly high. Subsequently, I called the hotel staff to solve the problem but they could not do anything. Moreover, no other room was available. Consequently, I had to stay in this room and open the windows and rely on natural air to cool my room. I had to sleep in skimpy clothes, which I do not prefer, to overcome the heat. Noise from the street came through the open windows and my sleep was disrupted. Therefore, I want you to refund 40% of my hotel charges or provide me with a free stay in a deluxe room next time I check into your hotel. Yours faithfully, John Vyas
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently stayed in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Ibis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hotel
Heidelberg, for about a week. The temperature was
unusually
higher during this period and unfortunately, the air conditioner in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
was not
fully
operational. I am writing this letter to complain about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience I have had due to this and would like you to take steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it does not happen again.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
at midnight on 14th July and straightaway went to bed.
However
, after turning the air conditioner on, I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
was not getting cooler and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
temperature was
peculiarly
high.

Subsequently
, I called the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
staff to solve the problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they could not do anything.
Moreover
, no other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
was available.
Consequently
, I had to stay in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and open the windows and rely on natural air to cool my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. I had to sleep in skimpy clothes, which I do not prefer, to overcome the heat. Noise from the street came through the open windows and my sleep
was disrupted
.

Therefore
, I want you to refund 40% of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
charges or provide me with a free stay in a deluxe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
next
time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
into your hotel.

Yours
faithfully
,

John
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vyas
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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