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You have just bought a new mobile phone from a website on the internet. When it was delivered, the phone was faulty. Write a letter to the website. In the letter: introduce yourselfexplain the situationstate what action you want to be taken v.6

You have just bought a new mobile phone from a website on the internet. When it was delivered, the phone was faulty. Write a letter to the website. In the letter: introduce yourselfexplain the situationstate what action you want to be taken v. 6
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my strong disappointed experience regarding my cell phone that I bought it from your city store on 11th of December. Please allow me to explain my situation in more detail. My name is Kevin and I have been loyal client of your multinational company since your firm was established. As you can easily see in your data records, I purchased a Samsung Galaxy mobile phone since it has much more helpful features in compared to other ones. However, after using it for a while, some problems started appear. First problem is that the camera of phone is not working properly, I mean that whenever I tried to take photo, it shutdowns suddenly without informing any sign on the screen. This make taking photo much more difficult when I indeed need it. If you are thinking that is only this? Not, it has not finished. The other problem of cell phone is related to its battery which finished almost each six hours. Despite fact that I did not play any application or game on my cell phone, I noticed that it finished immediately in short time. To be honest, I am really surprised to discover such kind of fault in highly expensive model. Would you consider that I am requesting demand of full payment that I made in advance or could you replace new one instead of fixing old one. I look forward to hearing positive response from you in the near future. Your faithfully.
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my strong disappointed experience regarding my cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it from your city store on 11th of December.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my situation in more detail. My name is Kevin and I have been loyal client of your multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
since your firm
was established
.

As you can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in your data records, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a Samsung Galaxy mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
since it has much more helpful features in compared to other ones.

However
, after using it for a while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
appear.
First
problem is that the camera of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not working
properly
, I mean that whenever I tried to take photo, it
The word 'shutdowns' is a noun. Did you mean the verb "shut downs"?
shutdowns
suddenly
without informing any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
on the screen. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
taking photo much more difficult when I
indeed
need it. If you are thinking
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this? Not, it has not finished. The other problem of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is related
to its battery which finished almost each six hours. Despite fact that I did not play any application or game on my cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, I noticed that it finished immediately in short time. To be honest, I am
really
surprised to discover such kind of fault in
highly
expensive model.

Would you consider that I am requesting demand of full payment that I made in advance or could you replace new one
instead
of fixing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one.

I look forward to hearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from you in the near future.

Your
faithfully
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS letter You have just bought a new mobile phone from a website on the internet. When it was delivered, the phone was faulty. Write a letter to the website. In the letter: introduce yourselfexplain the situationstate what action you want to be taken v. 6

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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