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You have an extra room in your apartment and would like to rent it out to a student. v.2

You have an extra room in your apartment and would like to rent it out to a student. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Nathan Adam, a mathematics major at the Aura Vincent University. I want to rent out a spare room in my apartment and need your help regarding this. As per the university policy, any students willing to lease a room to another student should first notify the council office. I want to rent out a room at the Central  Library Road, Okalum Berry, AV -123. The apartment is on the 7th floor and has a lift, Wi-Fi internet connection, water heater facilities and electric cooker. The room is fully furnished and has an attached bathroom. I have a tenant agreement with the flat owner and I have to pay 210 dollars per week. The apartment has three rooms and one room is completely vacant. I thought to sublease the room to someone who would share the rent. Moreover, a student from my university would be a good companion for me. The student who is interested to occupy the room should be a science major. He should rent it at least for six months and pay two-months' advance payment. I am looking for someone who is serious about the study and has a good academic track. I am really looking forward to getting your help to rent out the room to a suitable student from our university. Yours faithfully, Nathan Adam
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Nathan Adam, a mathematics major at the Aura Vincent University. I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
out a spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in my apartment and need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
regarding this.

As per the university policy, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
willing to lease a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
first
notify the council office. I want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
at the Central
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Library Road,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Okalum
Berry, AV -123. The apartment is on the 7th floor and has a lift, Wi-Fi internet connection, water heater facilities and electric cooker. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is
fully
furnished and has an attached bathroom.

I have a tenant agreement with the flat owner and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay 210 dollars per week. The apartment has three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is completely vacant. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to sublease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
to someone who would share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from my university would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
companion for me.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
is interested
to occupy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
should be a science major. He should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
it at least for six months and pay two-months' advance payment. I am looking for someone who is serious about the study and has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.

I am
really
looking forward to getting your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rent
out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
to a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from our university.

Yours
faithfully
,

Nathan Adam
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter You have an extra room in your apartment and would like to rent it out to a student. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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