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You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. v.2

You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. v. 2
Dear Mr Kaine, I am a student of Microsoft Office Training (MST20) course in your institution. I am writing this letter to let you know that I would not be able to attend classes on 20th June onwards. I am hoping that you would allow me to continue the course with the next intake from October 2020. I work with a telecom company as an assistant researcher and due to some recently assigned projects, my office demands more of my time. Besides, I have some strict deadlines ahead and to meet them, I will need to work a few extra hours each day. Also, I will travel to Australia at the beginning of July for some official tasks. All these new responsibilities in my office force me to pause my course for the time being. However, I am willing to complete my course as it would be highly beneficial for my career. Therefore I humbly request you to allow me to attend the next available batch. This would be helpful for me to manage my office work on the one hand and continue my course on the other hand. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Namrata Jain
Dear Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kaine
,

I am a student of Microsoft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Office
Training (MST20)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in your institution. I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that I would not be able to attend classes on 20th June onwards.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
with the
next
intake from October 2020.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
work with a telecom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as an assistant researcher and due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recently assigned projects, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
demands more of my time.
Besides
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict deadlines ahead and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them, I will need to work a few extra hours each day.
Also
, I will travel to Australia at the beginning of July for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
official tasks. All these new responsibilities in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
force me to pause my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for the time being.
However
, I am willing to complete my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
as it would be
highly
beneficial for my career.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
humbly
request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to attend the
next
available batch. This would be helpful for me to manage my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
work on the one hand and continue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
on the other hand
.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Namrata
Jain
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS letter You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
200 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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