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You have seen an advertisement for a 'weekend work' in a hotel in the town where you are staying. You have worked in a hotel before and think that the job would be suitable for you. Now you want to apply for the job. v.2

You have seen an advertisement for a 'weekend work' in a hotel in the town where you are staying. You have worked in a hotel before and think that the job would be suitable for you. Now you want to apply for the job. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my interest in a part-time weekend work position at your hotel, which was advertised in one of the local newspapers in our town a couple of days ago. To introduce myself a little, I am a 21 years old university student, and I am currently studying in the final year at City University. My major is "Hotel and Tourism Management" and I am looking for a part-time job in a hotel to gain some hands-on knowledge. Since I live in the same town, I have had the opportunity to see your hotel. I also know how your hotel business contributes to the local economy of our town. Anyway, I think that I would be able to offer a great service to your hotel since I have already worked at a hotel in the past as a part-time Front Desk Officer. Besides, I have also worked as a part-time waiter at one of the busiest restaurants in our town. Moreover, I am energetic, and I have good communication skill. Finally, I am willing to start as soon as you ask me, only if you choose to hire me and tell me exactly what my roles and responsibilities should be at your hotel. Hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Chuck Moore
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in a part-time weekend work position at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
, which
was advertised
in one of the local newspapers in our town a couple of days ago.

To introduce myself a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, I am a 21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
university student, and I am
currently
studying in the final year at City University. My major is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Hotel and Tourism Management
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and I am looking for a part-time job in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hands-on knowledge. Since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same town, I have had the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
. I
also
know how your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
business contributes to the local economy of our town.

Anyway, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that I would be able to offer a great service to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
since I have already worked at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
in the past as a part-time Front Desk Officer.
Besides
, I have
also
worked as a part-time waiter at one of the busiest restaurants in our town.
Moreover
, I am energetic, and I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Finally
, I am willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as you ask me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if you choose to hire me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me exactly what my roles and responsibilities should be at your hotel.

Hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Chuck Moore
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement for a 'weekend work' in a hotel in the town where you are staying. You have worked in a hotel before and think that the job would be suitable for you. Now you want to apply for the job. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
221 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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