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You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v.5

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v. 5
Dear Aparna, Hope you are doing great and enjoying your new job. I am writing this letter to inform you that I am planning to take a course at a college in your city. I am hoping your assistance in getting further information about the course. As you know, I have been working as a software engineer for the last four years. So, I think this is the right time to work on one of my dreams - to acquire a management degree. I am planning to leave the job and apply for a part-time management course in Sydney. Though I have inquired online for a few of the colleges, could you please enlighten me with a few more details about the colleges, course duration, tuition fee regarding a management degree? I am hoping you would guide me in finding the best college that offers a part-time management related course. I would be really grateful to you for your help. Looking forward to getting your reply. Warm wishes, Naaz
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aparna
,

Hope you are doing great and enjoying your new job. I am writing this letter to inform you that I am planning to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
at a college in your city. I am hoping your assistance in getting
further
information about the course.

As you know, I have been working as a software engineer for the last four years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the right time to work on one of my dreams
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
degree. I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the job and apply for a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in Sydney. Though I have inquired online for a few of the colleges, could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
enlighten me with a few more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the colleges,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
duration, tuition fee regarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
degree?

I am hoping you would guide me in finding the best college that offers a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. I would be
really
grateful to you for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Looking forward to getting your reply.

Warm wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Naaz
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS letter You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v. 5

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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