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You have a friend who is about to enter university, and he/she wants you to advise him/her on which subject to specialize in – history, in which he is very interested, or computer science, which offers better job prospects. v.2

You have a friend who is about to enter university, and he/she wants you to advise him/her on which subject to specialize in – history, in which he is very interested, or computer science, which offers better job prospects. v. 2
Dear Charles, I am so delighted to receive your letter yesterday and it was a pleasant surprise to know that you have already completed your high school and would get admitted to a university soon. How time does fly! You have asked my opinion on which subject to take as the major. I think you should follow your own instinct and go for something you feel passionate about. I know you very closely and can advise that you do better when you feel connected to something. From your letter, I can understand that your personal choice is history but your parents want you to follow your elder cousin Ryan's track who is earning a lot from his IT career. Who says you cannot have a great career if you take history? I can give you many examples when someone from a more demanding subject is doing mediocrely while someone from a traditional subject is doing quite excellent. I guess you personally want to study history, I have got that impression from your letter, and that's why I would advise you to follow your own track and set an example for others instead of blindly walking through a street you do not want to be in. Warm wishes, Simmon
Dear Charles,

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
delighted to receive your letter yesterday and it was a pleasant surprise to know that you have already completed your high school and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admitted to a university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. How time does
fly
!

You have asked my opinion on which subject to take as the major. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you should follow your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
instinct and go for something you feel passionate about.

I know you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
closely
and can advise that you do better when you feel connected to something. From your letter, I can understand that your personal choice is history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your parents want you to follow your elder cousin Ryan's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
who is earning a lot from his IT career. Who says you cannot have a great career if you take history? I can give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
examples when someone from a more demanding subject is doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
mediocrely
while someone from a traditional subject is doing quite excellent.

I guess you
personally
want to study history, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
that impression from your letter, and that's why I would advise you to follow your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
and set an example for others
instead
of
blindly
walking through a street you do not want to be in.

Warm wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Simmon
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have a friend who is about to enter university, and he/she wants you to advise him/her on which subject to specialize in – history, in which he is very interested, or computer science, which offers better job prospects. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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