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You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. v.2

You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. v. 2
Dear Mr Andrew, I am a regular member of your True Fitness Gym in West Delhi branch. I went to the gym last Friday, as usual, however, I was in a bit hurry for an official meeting and I forgot my bag in cupboard 167. Today I learned that the gymnasium will be closed for a week but I need the bag urgently. I am hoping that you would arrange a way to hand over the bag to me. My access card number is 99876 and I have been a member since the beginning of 2017. The authority has announced that the gym will be closed for renovation work but I need my bag along with its content urgently. My bag is black and has three zippers, one in the middle and two on the sides. It has my official laptop and wallet which includes my driving license and credit cards along with some cash. I would need them before I go to the office tomorrow morning. I would request you to kindly instruct your ward boy to assist me in getting the bag from the cupboard when I come to the gym tomorrow morning. I understand the inconvenience this might cause to you and would really appreciate your help. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Gaurav Verma
Dear Mr Andrew,

I am a regular member of your True Fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Gym
in West Delhi branch. I went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
last Friday, as usual,
however
, I was in a bit hurry for an official meeting and I forgot my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
in cupboard 167.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I learned that the gymnasium will
be closed
for a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
urgently
. I am hoping that you would arrange a way to hand over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
to me.

My access card number is 99876 and I have been a member since the beginning of 2017. The authority has announced that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
will
be closed
for renovation work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I need my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
along with its content
urgently
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
is black and has three zippers, one in the middle and two on the sides. It has my official laptop and wallet which includes my driving license and credit cards along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash. I would need them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I go to the office tomorrow morning.

I would request you to kindly instruct your ward boy to assist me in getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
from the cupboard when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
tomorrow morning.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
understand the inconvenience this might cause to you and would
really
appreciate your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Gaurav
Possible spelling mistake found.
Verma
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS letter You forget your bag in the gym and the gym management announced that it will be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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