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You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. v.1

You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, Last Friday, I travelled from Cubao Station to Ayala Bus Bay on one of your buses. Unfortunately, I left a bag on the bus and hoping that you would notify me of whereabouts of the bag so that I can retrieve it. In relation to the journey that I made, I embarked a bus at the Cubao Station (Bus No. CA234) on 17th April 2020, at around 8: 00 in the morning, and took off at Ayala Station. I checked in the bag and declared its contents while checking-in. When I realised that I left my bag after a few hours, I have tried to locate the bus at the Ayala Station, but I failed to do so. It is a medium-size black backpack with white straps and pouch in the front. It has a panda luggage tag that shows my name and contact details. The bag contains some important documents and a 14-inch black Toshiba laptop with a black leather cover. The content of the bag is really important to me and my work and I need those urgently. If you have already found it, kindly call me at 743-9223014 or do send an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . I will arrange a pick up with your company. However, if it is possible to be sent via a courier service, it will be a great help. I am ready to bear the delivery charges. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Your help will be highly appreciated. Yours faithfully, Arlyn Crescini
Dear Sir or Madam,

Last Friday, I travelled from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cubao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
to Ayala Bus Bay on one of your buses. Unfortunately, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
on the bus and hoping that you would notify me of whereabouts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can retrieve it.

In relation to the journey that I made, I embarked a bus at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cubao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
(Bus No. CA234) on 17th April 2020, at around 8: 00 in the morning, and took off at Ayala
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
and declared its contents while checking-in.

When I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
after a few hours, I have tried to locate the bus at the Ayala
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I failed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. It is a medium-size black backpack with white straps and pouch in the front. It has a panda luggage tag that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
my name and contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
documents and a 14-inch black Toshiba laptop with a black leather cover. The content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to me and my work and I need those
urgently
.

If you have already found it, kindly call me at 743-9223014 or do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email at This email address is
being protected
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
spambots
. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I will arrange a pick up with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
However
, if it is possible to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
via a courier service, it will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. I am ready to bear the delivery charges.

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
will be
highly
appreciated.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Arlyn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Crescini
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS letter You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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