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you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged

you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged k53PM
Dear apexa, I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart because the laptop which i borrowed from you is incidently damaged by me on last sunday, and i want appology from you. Firstly i want to thank you for your support. My laptop was stolen at the time of exam and without your laptop i was not able to attend exam. So what happened is, on last friady i finished my test. On sunday, i was coming to your house to return your thing back, but as soon as i cross the road, a car is hitted me and it damaged laptop screen. I know this laptop is very precious for you as it is gifted by your father on your eighteen birthday. But trust me i felt very bad when this incident happened. So, now i given your laptop screen to repair in nearest apple store and hopefully it will come back in 5 working days. As soon as i will get it back, i directly come to you. Once again i am really sorry for your loss. Next time i will be more carefull with borrowed things. yours faithfully, Avani Patel
Dear
apexa
,

I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart
because
the
laptop
which
i
borrowed from you is
incidently
damaged by me on last
sunday
, and
i
want
appology
from you.

Firstly
i
want to thank you for your support. My
laptop
was stolen
at the time of exam and without your
laptop
i
was not able to attend exam.
So
what happened is, on last
friady
i
finished my
test
. On
sunday
,
i
was coming to your
house
to return your thing back,
but
as
soon
as
i
cross the road, a car is
hitted
me and it damaged
laptop
screen.

I know this
laptop
is
very
precious for you as it
is gifted
by your father on your eighteen birthday.
But
trust me
i
felt
very
bad
when this incident happened.

So
,
now
i
given
your
laptop
screen to repair in
nearest
apple store
and
hopefully
it will
come
back in 5 working days. As
soon
as
i
will
get
it back,
i
directly
come
to you. Once again
i
am
really
sorry for your loss.
Next
time
i
will be more
carefull
with borrowed things.

yours
faithfully
,

Avani
Patel
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IELTS letter you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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