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you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged

you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged k53PM
Dear apexa, I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart because the laptop which i borrowed from you is incidently damaged by me on last sunday, and i want appology from you. Firstly i want to thank you for your support. My laptop was stolen at the time of exam and without your laptop i was not able to attend exam. So what happened is, on last friady i finished my test. On sunday, i was coming to your house to return your thing back, but as soon as i cross the road, a car is hitted me and it damaged laptop screen. I know this laptop is very precious for you as it is gifted by your father on your eighteen birthday. But trust me i felt very bad when this incident happened. So, now i given your laptop screen to repair in nearest apple store and hopefully it will come back in 5 working days. As soon as i will get it back, i directly come to you. Once again i am really sorry for your loss. Next time i will be more carefull with borrowed things. yours faithfully, Avani Patel
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
apexa
,

I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
borrowed from you is
Possible spelling mistake found.
incidently
damaged by me on last
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want
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appology
from you.

Firstly
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to thank you for your support. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
was stolen
at the time of exam and without your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was not able to attend exam.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what happened is, on last
Possible spelling mistake found.
friady
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
finished my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. On
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was coming to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to return your thing back,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
cross the road, a car is
Possible spelling mistake found.
hitted
me and it damaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
screen.

I know this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious for you as it
is gifted
by your father on your eighteen birthday.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
trust me
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
when this incident happened.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "gave"?
given
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
screen to repair in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the nearest".
nearest
Did you mean the proper noun "Apple Store"?
apple store
and
hopefully
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back in 5 working days. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it back,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you. Once again
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am
really
sorry for your loss.
Next
time
Did you mean "I"?
i
will be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
carefull
with borrowed things.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Avani
Patel

IELTS letter you borrowed something from your friend and got it damaged

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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