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You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v.4

You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 4
Dear Mr Smith, I have been issued three books from the college library on 20th February 2019 and I am supposed to return them exactly seven days later. However, I will rush to my hometown tomorrow morning to see my grandfather who has been hospitalised last night and would not be able to return the books in time. I am writing to request an extension to avoid late fees. I borrowed the books using my library card 5481023 and if you see my history, I have always returned the borrowed books in time. Unfortunately, this time I am going to make an exception as tomorrow is a public holiday and I cannot return the book before I fly to my hometown to visit my grandfather in the hospital. My mother in dealing with the hospital formalities and taking care of my grandfather. I am expected to fly there tomorrow. Due to this emergency, I am unable to return the book before flying to Melbourne. I will be back to Gold Coast on the evening of 3rd March 2019 and will return the book the first thing in the next day. I sincerely request you not to impose a penalty or late fee to me considering the grave situation and my previous borrowing records. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Mathew Jacob
Dear Mr Smith,

I have
been issued
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from the college library on 20th February
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2019 and
I
am supposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
them exactly seven days later.
However
, I will rush to my hometown tomorrow morning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my grandfather who has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
last night and would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in time. I am writing to request an extension to avoid late fees.

I borrowed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
using my library card 5481023 and if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my history, I have always returned the borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in time. Unfortunately, this time I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an exception as tomorrow is a public holiday and I cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I
fly
to my hometown to visit my grandfather in the hospital. My mother in dealing with the hospital formalities and taking care of my grandfather. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
fly
there tomorrow.

Due to this emergency, I am unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
flying to Melbourne. I will be back to Gold Coast on the evening of 3rd March 2019 and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
the
first
thing in the
next
day.

I
sincerely
request you not to impose a penalty or late fee to me considering the grave situation and my previous borrowing records.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
sincerely
,

Mathew Jacob
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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