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You borrowed a book from a public library and the book is now damaged. v.2

You borrowed a book from a public library and the book is now damaged. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a member of your library- The Graham Public Library and have been enjoying my membership for the past three years. I would like to explain why I have been unable to return a book I borrowed two weeks ago. I am hoping that you would allow me to purchase a new book of the same title and do not impose any fine on my membership. I am Shirley Beth and my library membership number is CA-GP 125401. I borrowed the book 'The Watsons' - a novel by Jane Austen, on 24th July and the deadline to return the book was on 2nd August. Unfortunately, on 1st August, I found that the cover page of the book was gone and pages 10 to 24 were missing! It's hard to read the rest of this book since there are tonnes of scratches on it. Off the top of my head, my dog damaged the book when I was out to attend a party with a few college friends. I guess I forgot to feed my dog when I hurried out to attend a party. He was too hungry that thought the book was something he can eat. I must confess it was a mistake I should have been more careful about it. I cannot deny that I should be responsible for the book of indemnity. However, as an old member and a regular visitor to your library, I would request you to allow me to compensate for that by purchasing the same book within the next week. I would also request you not to impose any late fee or penalty for the incident. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Shirley Beth
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a member of your library- The Graham Public Library and have been enjoying my membership for the past three years. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I have been unable to return a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
I borrowed two weeks ago.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
of the same title and do not impose any fine on my membership.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am Shirley Beth and my library membership number is CA-GP 125401.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
borrowed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
'The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Watsons
'
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a novel by Jane Austen, on 24th July and the deadline to return the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was on 2nd August. Unfortunately, on 1st August, I found that the cover page of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was gone
and pages 10 to 24 were missing! It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to read the rest of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
since there are tonnes of scratches on it. Off the top of my head, my dog damaged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
when I was out to attend a party with a few college friends.

I guess I forgot to feed my dog when I hurried out to attend a party. He was too hungry that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
was something he can eat. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
confess it was a mistake I should have been more careful about it.

I cannot deny that I should be responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
of indemnity.
However
, as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
member and a regular visitor to your library, I would request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to compensate for that by purchasing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
within the
next
week. I would
also
request you not to impose any late fee or penalty for the incident.

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Shirley Beth
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You borrowed a book from a public library and the book is now damaged. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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