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You booked a two-week holiday to Sydney with a tour agency. You are not happy with the holiday – the flight was delayed, the hotel was noisy, and so on. v.2

You booked a two-week holiday to Sydney with a tour agency. You are not happy with the holiday – the flight was delayed, the hotel was noisy, and so on. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I took a tour package you offered and travelled to Sydney on 25th July. I was looking forward to an exciting tour but was disappointed with the quality of service your company has provided. I am hoping that you would refund half of the amount I paid as compensation as your company failed to keep promises. In relation to the package I opted for, I booked a holiday package to Sydney and it was a fortnight tour package. I paid $1600 in cash and was promised a top class two-way fight, three-star hotel accommodation, tour guide, transportation and meals. I was promised a dream vacation but everything went wrong. Not only the flight was delayed for four hours but the hotel, which was arranged for us, was below standard with low-quality service and noise issue round the clock. The bus tour was also cancelled for no apparent reason. Moreover, the meals were tasteless and I had to pay for the meals despite the meal inclusive package I opted in. This is unacceptable. As a solution, and since your company did not respect the commitments it made to us, I expect a 50% refund from your company for all the charges that I had paid in advance. If I do not hear from in within the next seven days, I will file a formal complaint to the Consumer Rights Authority against your company with regards to false claims. I hope to have a prompt action on my complaint and refund request. Yours faithfully, Mubashir Noorani
Dear Sir or Madam,

I took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
you offered and travelled to Sydney on 25th July. I was looking forward to an exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
was disappointed
with the quality of service your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has provided.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would refund half of the amount I paid as compensation as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
promises.

In relation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
I opted for, I booked a holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
to Sydney and it was a fortnight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
. I paid $1600 in cash and
was promised
a top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
two-way fight, three-star hotel accommodation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
guide, transportation and meals.

I
was promised
a dream vacation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everything went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the flight
was delayed
for four hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the hotel, which
was arranged
for us, was below standard with low-quality service and noise issue round the clock. The bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
was
also
cancelled for no apparent reason.
Moreover
, the meals were tasteless and I had to pay for the meals despite the meal inclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
I opted in. This is unacceptable.

As a solution, and since your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
did not respect the commitments it made to us, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a 50% refund from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for all the charges that I had paid in advance. If I do not hear from in within the
next
seven days, I will file a formal complaint to the Consumer Rights Authority against your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
false claims.

I hope to have a prompt action on my complaint and refund request.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mubashir
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noorani
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You booked a two-week holiday to Sydney with a tour agency. You are not happy with the holiday – the flight was delayed, the hotel was noisy, and so on. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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