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You are studying in a different country. The College has invited you to volunteer to conduct an international day. Write a letter to college coordinator stating 1. Do you like the idea of conducting and international day 2. Do you know to prepare any special dish of your country 3. Any activity that you plan to do on the particular day?

You are studying in a different country. The College has invited you to volunteer to conduct an international day. Write a letter to college coordinator stating 1. Do you like the idea of conducting and international day 2. Do you know to prepare any special dish of your country 3. Any activity that you plan to do on the particular day? raWAk
Dear Mr. Carl Johns, I am writing this letter to express my joy and to appreciate your decision to conduct an International day event. Thank you for the opportunity you offered me as a volunteer for this special event. As a college with many students from across the world, I am sure this event will definitely help everyone to understand multiple ethnicities, cultural values and also give an idea about how the people live in each part of the globe. I would like to prepare some traditional South Indian dishes because I was born and grew up in the Southern part of India. I wish to conduct a Bollywood dance festival with other Indian students. Indian films, especially Bollywood, is known for dance and music. I believe this will be good fun for the students from other countries. I am thanking you again for inviting me as a volunteer. Please reply to me if you like my ideas. So I can coordinate with other students and make the arrangements. Yours sincerely,  Peter Jan
Dear Mr. Carl Johns,

I am writing this letter to express my joy and to appreciate your decision to conduct an International day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. Thank you for the opportunity you offered me as a volunteer for this special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

As a college with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from across the world, I am sure this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone to understand multiple ethnicities, cultural values and
also
give an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about how the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in each part of the globe. I would like to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional South Indian dishes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was born
and grew up in the Southern part of India.

I wish to conduct a Bollywood dance festival with other Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Indian films,
especially
Bollywood,
is known
for dance and music. I believe this will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fun for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from other countries.

I am thanking you again for inviting me as a volunteer.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
reply to me if you like my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I can coordinate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the arrangements.

Yours
sincerely
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Peter Jan
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IELTS letter You are studying in a different country. The College has invited you to volunteer to conduct an international day. Write a letter to college coordinator stating 1. Do you like the idea of conducting and international day 2. Do you know to prepare any special dish of your country 3. Any activity that you plan to do on the particular day?

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
172 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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