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You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off from your work to complete it. v.1

You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off from your work to complete it. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to seek your approval to take 10 days off work in order to complete my term final and thesis paper for my MBA course. I am hoping that you would allow me to take the time off work from 8th November 2019 to 17th November 2019. I am pursuing my MBA degree from Edinburgh University and to complete it, I need to submit my thesis paper by 15th November and take a few exams. I have 10 days paid annual leaves and I have saved those for my term final. Now I am hoping to use those leaves and finish my MBA. Despite my leave from office, I will check my emails daily, respond to important ones and be available for emergency phone calls. Besides, I have already talked to James and he is ready to take a few important responsibilities of mine in the meantime. Once I get back to the office, I would endeavour to come earlier than usual and work on weekends, if needed, in order to catch up on anything I had missed. I realise my temporary absence could be an inconvenience to the office but in the long run, our company will benefit from my knowledge and thesis activity which involves an empirical investigation into the impact of leadership on organisational performance. Since our company is considering a few training sessions for the team to enhance the leadership quality, my expertise could be useful. I am looking forward to receiving your approval for the leave. Yours faithfully, David Ferrer
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to seek your approval to take 10 days off work in order to complete my term final and thesis paper for my MBA course. I am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to take the time off work from 8th November 2019 to 17th November 2019.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am pursuing my MBA degree from Edinburgh University and to complete it, I need to submit my thesis paper by 15th November and take a few exams.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have 10 days paid annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and I have saved those for my term final.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and finish my MBA.

Despite my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
from office, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
my emails daily, respond to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ones and be available for emergency phone calls.
Besides
, I have already talked to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
James and
he is ready to take a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
responsibilities of mine in the meantime. Once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the office, I would
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
earlier than usual and work on weekends, if needed, in order to catch up on anything I had missed.

I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
my temporary absence could be an inconvenience to the office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long run, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will benefit from my knowledge and thesis activity which involves an empirical investigation into the impact of leadership on
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
performance. Since our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is considering a few training sessions for the team to enhance the leadership quality, my expertise could be useful.

I am looking forward to receiving your approval for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

Yours
faithfully
,

David
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ferrer
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off from your work to complete it. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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