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You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v.2

You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 2
Dear Kevin, Hope you are well and this letter find you perfect. I know that it has been a long time since we had meet last time, I am so sorry for this. I tell you what. I am writing to ask whether you can come with me for Metallica Live Concert on the next weekend in Paris. In fact, I have expected to go with my elder brother but he will not attend due to his hectic schedule for business reasons. You know that as he works in a global company, he will be send to the United Kingdom as a member of a team to sign some business project and in order to boost market productivity of his firm. If you ok, we are going to fly on Friday by 11: 00Pm airplane to France by using France Airlines and we will stay just one night in three star hotel. Don’t worry about prices of flight and accommodation as I booked all of them in advance last month. It will not much cost. If you want to accompany with me please let me know before on Saturday Kevin. I look forward to hearing positive response from you in the near future. All the best my friend.
Dear Kevin,

Hope you are well and this letter find you perfect. I know that it has been a long time since we had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
last time, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sorry for this.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am writing to ask whether you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with me for Metallica
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
Concert on the
next
weekend in Paris.

In fact, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
my elder brother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he will not attend due to his hectic schedule for business reasons. You know that as he works in a global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, he will be
Consider using the past participle "sent"?
send
to the United Kingdom as a member of a team to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
business project and in order to boost market productivity of his firm.

If you ok, we are going to
fly
on Friday by 11:
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "00 Pm"
00Pm
airplane to France by using France
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Airlines and
we will stay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one night in
'three star' is missing a hyphen.
three star
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hotel' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hotels".
hotel
.

Don’t worry about prices of flight and accommodation as I booked all of them in advance last month. It will not much cost.

If you want to
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompany by".
accompany with
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
on Saturday Kevin.

I look forward to hearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from you in the near future.

All the best my friend.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 2

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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