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You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v.2

You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 2

Dear Kevin, Hope you are well and this letter find you perfect. I know that it has been a long time since we had meet last time, I am so sorry for this. I tell you what. I am writing to ask whether you can come with me for Metallica Live Concert on the next weekend in Paris. In fact, I have expected to go with my elder brother but he will not attend due to his hectic schedule for business reasons. You know that as he works in a global company, he will be send to the United Kingdom as a member of a team to sign some business project and in order to boost market productivity of his firm. If you ok, we are going to fly on Friday by 11: 00Pm airplane to France by using France Airlines and we will stay just one night in three star hotel. Don’t worry about prices of flight and accommodation as I booked all of them in advance last month. It will not much cost. If you want to accompany with me please let me know before on Saturday Kevin. I look forward to hearing positive response from you in the near future. All the best my friend.

Dear Kevin,

Hope you are well and this letter find you perfect. I know that it has been a long time since we had This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meet
 last time, I am This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 sorry for this.

I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :inform
tell
 you what. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 am writing to ask whether you can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 with me for Metallica This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reside
Live
 Concert on the next
 weekend in Paris.

In fact, I have This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :anticipated
expected
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accompany
go with
 my elder brother This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 he will not attend due to his hectic schedule for business reasons. You know that as he works in a global This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
, he will be Consider using the past participle "sent"?sent
send
 to the United Kingdom as a member of a team to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :indication
sign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 business project and in order to boost market productivity of his firm.

If you ok, we are going to fly
 on Friday by 11: Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "00 Pm"00 Pm
00Pm
 airplane to France by using France Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Airlines, and
Airlines and
 we will stay This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 one night in 'three star' is missing a hyphen.three-star
three star
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hotel' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hotels".hotels
hotel
.

Don’t worry about prices of flight and accommodation as I booked all of them in advance last month. It will not much cost.

If you want to The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompany by".accompany by
accompany with
 me This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :satisfy
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :authorize
let
 me know This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 on Saturday Kevin.

I look forward to hearing This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:beneficial
positive
 response from you in the near future.

All the best my friend. 

1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 2

Letter

American English

9 paragraphs

208 words

5.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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