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You are planning a holiday in another country and would like a friend to accompany you. v.1

You are planning a holiday in another country and would like a friend to accompany you. v. 1
Dear Flemming, I would like to thank you for hosting an incredible party last month when I got the chance to meet your parents, who, in my opinion, are exceptional individuals. I would love to meet them again. However, I am writing today to insist you to visit Denmark with me. I had long been planning to visit Denmark, a remarkable country, and have finally decided to travel there on 27th December. I would rather have you with me than travelling alone. You are the best travel companion I can think of and our last vacation to Malaysia propels me to invite you to be my tour companion again. Our semester final is over and we have two weeks to do something before returning to our classes. I thought travelling to a Scandinavian country would be the best way to spend our holidays. My uncle resides in Copenhagen and he will be a great help there. I plan to visit my uncle and meet his family first. Then we will visit Roskilde Cathedral, Viking Ship Museum, take a castle tour from Copenhagen and enjoy the countrysides. I am open to your recommendation about the things to do in Denmark. I hope you will not turn me down and finalise your preparation to have a memorable tour to Denmark in December. Warm wishes, David
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Flemming
,

I would like to thank you for hosting an incredible party last month when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
your parents, who, in my opinion, are exceptional individuals. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them again.
However
, I am writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to insist you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Denmark with me.

I had long been planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Denmark, a remarkable country, and have
finally
decided to travel there on 27th December. I would
rather
have you with me than travelling alone. You are the best travel companion I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of and our last vacation to Malaysia propels me to invite you to be my tour companion again.

Our semester final is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
over and
we have two weeks to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
returning to our classes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
travelling to a Scandinavian country would be the best way to spend our holidays. My uncle resides in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Copenhagen and
he will be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
there.

I plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
my uncle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his family
first
. Then we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Roskilde
Cathedral, Viking Ship Museum, take a castle tour from Copenhagen and enjoy the countrysides. I am open to your recommendation about the things to do in Denmark.

I hope you will not turn me down and
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
your preparation to have a memorable tour to Denmark in December.

Warm wishes,

David
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS letter You are planning a holiday in another country and would like a friend to accompany you. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
222 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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