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You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require.

You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require. REOQ
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to you to get some information regarding the accommodation during our trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales. We are planning a trip for a group of students, and it would be great if you could give me more detailed information. I am Hie, a Mathematics teacher in a high school in Westerm Australia. We are arranging to take a break to your area next month. As scheduled, it would be from 2nd February to 9th February, which means the duration of our stay will last one week. Our team has 5 teachers, and 30 students - 35 in total, so we wish to dwell in five large deluxe rooms which have good facilities such as kitchens and air-conditioners. It will be more delightful if we have some spacious outdoor space for BBQ. Could you please kindly let me know the availability of accommodation and booking details if possible? I am sincerely looking forward to your response soon. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Hie.
Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing to you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regarding the accommodation during our trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales. We are planning a trip for a group of students, and it would be great if you could give me more detailed information.

I am Hie, a Mathematics teacher in a high school in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Westerm
Australia. We are arranging to take a break to your area
next
month. As scheduled, it would be from 2nd February to 9th February, which means the duration of our stay will last one week. Our team has 5 teachers, and 30 students
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
35 in total,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we wish to dwell in five large deluxe rooms which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities such as kitchens and air-conditioners. It will be more delightful if we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spacious outdoor space for BBQ.

Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know the availability of accommodation and booking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
if possible? I am
sincerely
looking forward to your response
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

Hie.

IELTS letter You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require.