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You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture

You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture 0ppGn
Dear John Masters Hi, I am writing this letter with regards to such problems which we encountered with some of our kitchen staff. About 2days ago we found out some of our foodstuffs got rotten, however they were in fridge. It seemed that there is a problem with the fridge. We call the relevant services and after their inspection they told us that the fridge's engine is broken and needs to be changed. Moreover, the closet of the master room squeaks alot, and as I have an old father he cannot sleep well because of this issue. I would like to ask you to buy a new fridge in your earliest convenience, and to change the closet door if it is possible. Thank you in advance for you attention. Best regards, Mahsa Rahmani
Dear John Masters

Hi,

I am writing this letter
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
such problems which we encountered with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our kitchen staff.

About 2days ago we found out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our foodstuffs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rotten,
however
they were in fridge. It seemed that there is a problem with the fridge. We call the relevant services and after their inspection they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us that the fridge's engine
is broken
and needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

Moreover
, the closet of the master room squeaks
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
, and as I have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
father he cannot sleep well
because of this
issue.

I would like to ask you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new fridge in your earliest convenience, and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the closet door if it is possible.

Thank you in advance for you attention.

Best regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mahsa
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rahmani
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IELTS letter You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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