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You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. v. 3

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest to get registered to your employment agency as I am looking for a suitable part-time job. I am hoping you would enlist me in your database and notify me of suitable job announcements and forward my resume to prospective employers. I am Hansen Lee, an international student at the University of Westminster and my major is Business Administration. I am originally from Japan and will be staying in London for the next couple of years. To support my education cost and to gain some job experience, I am seeking a suitable part-time position. I can work as an administrative assistant, customer experience manager or as a salesperson in a retail shop. I can spare time from 4. 30 pm onwards on weekdays and full-time on weekends. I have previously worked as a customer support officer in a call centre in Japan and as a sales executive in a superstore in London. I have attached my Curriculum Vitae with this letter for your kind consideration which further details my education and work experience. I look forward to hearing from you with the details process to register with your job agency. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Hansen Lee

IELTS letter You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. v.3

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest to
get
registered to your employment agency as I am looking for a suitable part-time
job
. I am hoping you would enlist me in your database and notify me of suitable
job
announcements and forward my resume to prospective employers.
I
am Hansen Lee, an international student at the University of Westminster and my major is Business Administration.
I
am
originally
from Japan and will be staying in London for the
next
couple of years. To support my education cost and to gain
some
job
experience, I am seeking a suitable part-time position. I can work as an administrative assistant, customer experience manager or as a salesperson in a retail shop. I can spare time from 4. 30 pm onwards on weekdays and full-time on weekends. I have previously worked as a customer support officer in a call
centre
in Japan and as a sales executive in a superstore in London. I have attached my Curriculum Vitae with this letter for your kind consideration which
further
details
my education and work experience.
I
look forward to hearing from you with the
details
process to register with your
job
agency. Thank you in advance. Yours
faithfully
, Hansen Lee
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Letter
8 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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