Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You won a competition and received a vacation for two as a prize. Write a letter to ask someone to go on holiday with you. v.1

You won a competition and received a vacation for two as a prize. Write a letter to ask someone to go on holiday with you. v. 1
Dear Monika, I'm absolutely thrilled to inform you that I've recently won a prize in a quiz competition. It was organised by a newly launched TV channel and I won the first prize - a rare achievement for me to win a quiz! Interestingly, the prize was a full holiday package for two in Athens, Greece and they will pay the airfare, hotel costs and food bills. What greater opportunity can I get to travel to a great city than that? I would really like you to accompany me on this trip. I can make the trip anytime during this summer and please arrange for a week's leave off office. It is a four-day trip and I am sure we will love this vacation. The birthplace of philosophy and democracy, the city of Athens has world-class cultural heritage attractions. Named after the Greek Goddess, Athena, the goddess of wisdom and inspiration, Athens has always been at the cultural core. You are my best friend and just when I got the price, I thought about you. You are such a great companion that I would not want to miss you during this trip. Please do inform me if you can make it before the summer ends. I am really looking forward to hearing 'Yes' from you. Warm wishes, Amanda
Dear Monika,

I'm
absolutely
thrilled to inform you that I've recently won a prize in a quiz competition. It was
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by a
newly
launched TV channel and I won the
first
prize
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a rare achievement for me to win a quiz!

Interestingly
, the prize was a full holiday package for two in Athens,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Greece and
they will pay the airfare, hotel costs and food bills. What greater opportunity can I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to travel to a great city than that? I would
really
like you to accompany me on this trip. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the trip anytime during this summer and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
arrange for a week's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
off office. It is a four-day
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trip and
I am sure we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
this vacation.

The birthplace of philosophy and democracy, the city of Athens has world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
cultural heritage attractions. Named after the Greek Goddess, Athena, the goddess of wisdom and inspiration, Athens has always been at the cultural core. You are my best friend and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the price, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about you. You are such a great companion that I would not want to miss you during this trip.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do inform me if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the summer ends. I am
really
looking forward to hearing 'Yes' from you.

Warm wishes,

Amanda
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You won a competition and received a vacation for two as a prize. Write a letter to ask someone to go on holiday with you. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
217 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts