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You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v.4

You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v. 4
Dear Mr Albert, I am writing to thank you for agreeing to be my English and Homestay host. I would really appreciate some information from you and would like to inform you that I will arrive at your house in New Zeland in July. I am Jacques Gordon, a French by nationality, but currently pursuing my graduation in accounting at the London University in the UK. My parents and siblings live in Paris. I enrolled in the "English and Homestay program" a few months ago and my intention was to take the opportunity to learn the language efficiently. I would be glad to know about you - more specifically what you do and how many members do you have in your family and so on. I would also like to know about some traditions and formalities you respect in New Zeland. I will be travelling to New Zealand for the first time and hence your suggestion about the etiquettes of being a guest would be highly appreciated. My expected arrival date is on 19th August 2020 and the flight is scheduled to reach Wellington Airport at 6. 00 pm local time. It would be great if you could fetch me from the airport. If you have another schedule, I would take a taxi to your address. I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with you and your family. Please write to me at your convenience. Yours Sincerely, Jacques Gordon
Dear Mr Albert,

I am writing to thank you for agreeing to be my English and Homestay host. I would
really
appreciate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information from you and would like to inform you that I will arrive at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeland
in July.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am Jacques Gordon, a French by nationality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
currently
pursuing my graduation in accounting at the London University in the UK. My parents and siblings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Paris. I enrolled in the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
English and Homestay program
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
a few months ago and my intention was to take the opportunity to learn the language
efficiently
.

I would be glad to know about you
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
more
specifically
what you do and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
members do you have in your family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would
also
like to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditions and formalities you respect in New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeland
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be travelling to New Zealand for the
first
time and
hence
your suggestion about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
etiquettes
of being a guest would be
highly
appreciated.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
arrival date is on
The given date is in the future, but the verb is in past tense.
19th August 2020
and the flight
is scheduled
to reach Wellington Airport at 6. 00 pm local time. It would be great if you could fetch me from the airport. If you have another schedule, I would take a taxi to your address.

I am
really
looking forward to spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with you and your family.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
write to me at your convenience.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Jacques Gordon
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
241 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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