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You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Dear Annie, Hope you are in the pink of health. I have some exciting news! You might recall from my last correspondence that I had attended an interview with CIMB Bank. Well, I've been selected and given the opportunity to work with them in their Kuala Lumpur (KL) office. With that said, I am a bit concerned about living in the heart of KL. As you are aware, family is my utmost priority and I love spending time with my parents. Moving out from the suburbs may make me feel homesick, given the long hours of travel back home. I have some questions which I hope you could enlighten me on. Firstly, how expensive is the rental for an apartment for 4 people? I might want to get a home for both myself and my parents. Also, as you have been living in the city, what else is required from me to have a smooth transition to city life? Before I forget, I will be moving in next year January. That gives me about 3 months from now to fully prepare and arrange for the necessities. I've got to stop my letter here, as I'm running late to fetch my sister from college. Do take care and I'm looking forward to your advice. Love, Sam.
Dear Annie,

Hope you are in the pink of health. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting news! You might recall from my last correspondence that I had attended an interview with
Possible spelling mistake found.
CIMB
Bank. Well, I've
been selected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to work with them in their Kuala Lumpur (KL) office.

With that said, I am a bit concerned about living in the heart of KL. As you are aware, family is my utmost priority and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
spending time with my parents. Moving out from the suburbs may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me feel homesick,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the long hours of travel back home.

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions which I hope you could enlighten me on.
Firstly
, how expensive is the rental for an apartment for 4
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
? I might want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a home for both myself and my parents.
Also
, as you have been living in the city, what else
is required
from me to have a smooth transition to city life?

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
I forget, I will be moving in
next
year January. That gives me about 3 months from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to
fully
prepare and arrange for the necessities.

I've
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
my letter here, as I'm running late to fetch my sister from college. Do take
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
care and
I'm looking forward to your advice.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
,

Sam.
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IELTS letter You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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