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You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord's workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v.4

You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord's workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v. 4
Dear Mrs Thompson, I am writing this letter to notify you of the heating problem in our rented apartment. I and my flatmates are having a hard time coping with the extreme winter and hoping that you would have the problem resolved immediately. I am Niro, a second-year student at the Pedagogy English Medium School in Brighton. I along with two other students, rented your apartment in the park road last February. Overall, we are happy with our accommodation. Unfortunately, the central heating system stopped working a week ago and we do not have any hot water in our flat. Two repairmen visited our flat last Friday and tried to fix the heater, but without any result. We are suffering to a great extent due to this and the winter is almost unbearable without the heating system and hot water. I hope you can understand our problem and take actions immediately. I suggest fixing an auto heater to the bathroom and replacing the current one. If we do not get a proper solution within a week, we would be forced to vacate your flat. Kindly resolve this problem as soon as possible and oblige us. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Niro Maala
Dear Mrs Thompson,

I am writing this letter to notify you of the heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in our rented apartment. I and my flatmates are having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time coping with the extreme winter and hoping that you would have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
resolved immediately.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Niro
, a second-year student at the Pedagogy English Medium School in Brighton.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
along with two other students, rented your apartment in the park road last February.
Overall
, we are happy with our accommodation.

Unfortunately, the central heating system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working a week
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ago and
we do not have any hot water in our flat. Two repairmen visited our flat last Friday and tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the heater,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without any result. We are suffering to a great extent due to this and the winter is almost unbearable without the heating system and hot water.

I hope you can understand our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and take actions immediately. I suggest fixing an auto heater to the bathroom and replacing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
one. If we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper solution within a week, we would
be forced
to vacate your flat.

Kindly resolve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible and oblige us.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Niro
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maala
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord's workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v. 4

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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