Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing this letter in connection with the non-functional heating system in your house where we currently reside in. The heating system is not working for more than a week and a team of men came to fix it but could not do anything. I am hoping you would call another expert team to have it fixed immediately.
I am a student at the Cherry Blossom school in Brighton and have been residing in your flat with three other roommates for the last eleven months. As per our rental agreement, we reported the issue to your designated workmen first. However, they have failed to fix the problem and have exacerbated the situation by drilling some holes in the bathroom wall, channels and the cold air freeze us in this intense winter.
Due to the non-functional heating system, we are unable to control water temperature, and we are compelled to heat water using gas burners for our daily domestic use. Similarly, we can't control the room temperature and we are living with thick winter clothes donned on our body round the clock. This is highly unpleasant and obnoxious to all of us.
In order to fix the issue, once and for all, I suggest engaging a better maintenance service agency with more skilled professionals than your current workmen. You can find many such agencies in a newspaper's classified section.
Considering the severity of the issue, I expect your immediate actions.
Yours sincerely,
Jonathan Aflex
Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing this letter in connection with the non-functional heating system in your  
house
 where we  
currently
 reside in. The heating system is not working for more than a week and a team of  
men
 came to  
fix
 it  
but
 could not do anything. I am hoping you would call another expert team to have it  
fixed
 immediately.
I am a student at the Cherry Blossom school in Brighton and have been residing in your flat with three other roommates for the last eleven months. As per our rental agreement, we reported the issue to your designated workmen  
first
.  
However
, they have failed to  
fix
 the problem and have exacerbated the situation by drilling  
some
 holes in the bathroom wall, channels and the  
cold
 air freeze us in this intense winter.
Due to the non-functional heating system, we are unable to control water temperature, and we  
are compelled
 to heat water using gas burners for our daily domestic  
use
.  
Similarly
, we can't control the room  
temperature and
 we are living with thick winter clothes donned on our body round the clock. This is  
highly
 unpleasant and obnoxious to all of us.
In order to  
fix
 the issue, once and for all, I suggest engaging a better maintenance service agency with more skilled professionals than your  
current
 workmen. You can find  
many
 such agencies in a newspaper's classified section.
Considering the severity of the issue, I  
expect
 your immediate actions.
Yours  
sincerely
,
Jonathan  
Aflex
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes