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writing to the restaurant manager about the ill service and food

writing to the restaurant manager about the ill service and food MBPe6
Dear Manager, I am writing to inform you a terrible customer experience which I have faced at your restaurant. I had visited your ‘Ming Ching’ restaurant at Kollam franchise along with my family on Yesterday the 15th of September. I regret to inform you that it was the worst experience in terms of service and menu. First of all, I had reserved the table for my family well in advance to celebrate an auspicious occasion of my son’s tenth birthday celebration. Even so, we were asked to wait long hours outside, owing to the fact that staff have not reserved a space against my booking. Furthermore, the chicken noodles I had ordered for my son and daughter was spoiled which has led to a stomach upset in both of them. Additionally, I have observed that restaurant staffs were not following the basic COVID 19 protocol of wearing a mask which is a serious offence and put everyone at risk. Therefore, I request you to consider reimbursing my bills, also strictly monitor your staff to wear a mask at workplace. Sincerely,
Dear Manager,

I am writing to inform you a terrible customer experience which I have faced at your restaurant.

I had visited your ‘Ming
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ching
’ restaurant at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kollam
franchise along with my family on Yesterday the 15th of September.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
regret to inform you that it was the worst experience in terms of service and menu.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I had reserved the table for my family well in advance to celebrate an auspicious occasion of my son’s tenth birthday celebration. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we
were asked
to wait long hours outside, owing to the fact
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that staff has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that staff have
not reserved a space against my booking.
Furthermore
, the chicken noodles I had ordered for my son and daughter
was spoiled
which has led to a stomach upset in both of them.
Additionally
, I have observed that restaurant staffs were not following the basic
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
protocol of wearing a mask which is a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
and put everyone at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

Therefore
, I request you to consider reimbursing my bills,
also
strictly
monitor your staff to wear a mask at workplace.

Sincerely
,
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IELTS letter writing to the restaurant manager about the ill service and food

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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