Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing a statement of purpose

My name is Vaibhav Chaudhary and I am a resident of Gurgaon, Haryana which is near the capital of India, Delhi. I have done my bachelor's degree from Manav Rachna International University in the field of Computer Science. I learned techniques revolving around programming languages and networking solutions. My interests mostly involved analyzing data and I attended conferences and seminars at my university regarding this. Also, I learned SQL programming taught during my course and found my vocation, and considered becoming a data analyst in my career. I got placed after my graduation at GlobalLogic INC. as an Associate analyst at Google client site in Gurgaon. The data was regarding the Google search engine and the project that I was working for was Knowledge Graph. Although, I was learning a lot but mostly on preliminary and company based tools, and wanted to know more sophisticated and complex statistical tools so as to get more experience and exposure. As I was working, I did Base SAS certification to get more academic and industrial understanding. Additionally, I also completed the part-time executive course at IIT Delhi wherein I learned subjects like strategic innovation, digital marketing and business analytics. At the same time, I switched to Mercer India Pvt. Ltd. and began working on the USA healthcare based data as a Senior Implementation Analyst. Although my work was involving Microsoft Excel and automation tools like Selenium and Java but my interests were mostly aligned towards data management, manipulation and extraction using statistical tools like SAS or R. However, I wrote two research papers in R language involving sentiment analysis and word cloud generation and also attended a conference at NIDA school of business in Thailand wherein I represented a research paper on a big restaurant chain of India under supervision of my professors at IIT. Currently, I am working at Genpact as a Management Trainee and the analysis is done using VBA and SQL. As I was more intrigued towards learning more in the field of data analytics using statistics, I observed data analytics post-baccalaureate certificate of the University of Frazer Valley and decided to pursue this for 2 reasons. At first, the software environment used for training is SAS and R which are used internationally for statistical purposes. Secondly, co-op semesters are also provided which definitely helps gain experience in what I will learn.
My name is Vaibhav
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Chaudhary and
I am a resident of Gurgaon, Haryana which is near the capital of India, Delhi. I have done my bachelor's degree from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manav
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rachna
International University in the field of Computer Science. I learned techniques revolving around programming languages and networking solutions. My interests
mostly
involved analyzing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and I attended conferences and seminars at my university regarding this.
Also
, I learned SQL programming taught during my course and found my vocation, and considered becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analyst in my career. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
placed after my graduation at GlobalLogic INC. as an Associate analyst at Google client site in Gurgaon. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was regarding the Google search engine and the project that I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for was Knowledge Graph. Although, I was learning a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
on preliminary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
, and wanted to know more sophisticated and complex statistical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experience and exposure. As I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, I did Base SAS certification to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more academic and industrial understanding.
Additionally
, I
also
completed the part-time executive course at IIT Delhi wherein I learned subjects like strategic innovation, digital marketing and business analytics. At the same time, I switched to Mercer India Pvt. Ltd. and began
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on the USA healthcare based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
as a Senior Implementation Analyst. Although my work was involving Microsoft Excel and automation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
like Selenium and
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Java
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my interests were
mostly
aligned towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
management, manipulation and extraction using statistical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
like SAS or R.
However
, I wrote two research papers in R language involving sentiment analysis and word cloud generation and
also
attended a conference at NIDA school of business in Thailand wherein I represented a research paper on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
restaurant chain of India under supervision of my professors at IIT.
Currently
, I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Genpact
as a Management Trainee and the analysis
is done
using VBA and SQL. As I was more intrigued towards learning more in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analytics using statistics, I observed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
analytics post-baccalaureate certificate of the University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frazer
Valley and decided to pursue this for 2 reasons. At
first
, the software environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for training is SAS and R which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internationally
for statistical purposes.
Secondly
, co-op semesters are
also
provided which definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
gain experience in what I will learn.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter Writing a statement of purpose

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
392 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts