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Write to apply a letter for job

Write to apply a letter for job PE3lB
Dear Sir I am writing to apply for a place on the History course which commences this september at Winstom University. Furthmore, I am 25 years old and I have completed a Bachelor's degree in Theory of History at Canada University, where I received first class honours. Therefore prior to this I was pupil at private grammar school, where I obtained 9 GCSEs as well as two a levels in history, geography, english also mother tongue. What is more, since the completion of my BA I have spent one year working as assistant Historian. This work was exteremly relishable likewise I am presently anxious to particularity by gaining further qualifications before getting on to board on my chosen career in this field. Yours faithfully, Andy
Dear Sir

I am writing to apply for a place on the History course which commences this
Possible spelling mistake found.
september
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Winstom
University.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthmore
, I am 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and I have completed a Bachelor's degree in Theory of History at Canada University, where I received
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
prior to this I was pupil at private grammar school, where I obtained 9
Possible spelling mistake found.
GCSEs
as well
as two a levels in history, geography,
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
also
mother tongue.

What is more
, since the completion of my BA I have spent one year working as assistant Historian. This work was
Possible spelling mistake found.
exteremly
Possible spelling mistake found.
relishable
likewise
I am
presently
anxious to particularity by gaining
further
qualifications
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting on to board on my chosen career in this field.

Yours
faithfully
,

Andy
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IELTS letter Write to apply a letter for job

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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