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Write to a hotel manager in another city to book rooms for your and yoyr colleaugues

Write to a hotel manager in another city to book rooms for your and yoyr colleaugues GlY5x
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to make a reservation for a small business team from June 3 to June 4. We are employees of a travel agency called, “Go Travel Iran", based in Tehran. Over the last decade, The Company has always been offering various cultural and natural tours to a wide range of international travelers. It runs family, adventure, and cultural tours to satisfy different tastes. However, what I really appreciate about our business is that it gives us the opportunity to internationally introduce our country as a great tourist destination. As members of the marketing department of the company, my coworkers and I are supposed to meet the manager of a local travel agency at your hotel for negotiating terms and conditions of a long-term cooperation. Since the city, Kerman, is close to one of the vastest deserts of the world, it would be a great idea to cooperate with a group of professional local guides with the purpose of hosting more tourists in near future. The trip will last for two days, one day for making a contract and the other day for exploring the attractions hidden in the heart of the desert. Regarding our business trip, I would be immensely grateful if you could book two rooms for us in advance. As two colleagues of mine are a couple, please reserve a double room for them and a single room for me. Moreover, I would like to reserve the meeting room on Monday from 9 to 11 so that we could visit our guests there. If you require more information, please feel free to contact me. Yours faithfully, Aida Daneshmand
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a reservation for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business team from June 3 to June 4.

We are employees of a travel agency called, “Go Travel Iran
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, based in Tehran. Over the last decade, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
has always been offering various cultural and natural tours to a wide range of international travelers. It runs family, adventure, and cultural tours to satisfy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes.
However
, what I
really
appreciate about our business is that it gives us the opportunity to
internationally
introduce our country as a great tourist destination.

As members of the marketing department of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, my coworkers and I
are supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the manager of a local travel agency at your hotel for negotiating terms and conditions of a long-term cooperation. Since the city,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kerman
, is close to one of the vastest deserts of the world, it would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to cooperate with a group of professional local guides with the purpose of hosting more tourists in near future. The trip will last for two days, one day for making a contract and the other day for exploring the attractions hidden in the heart of the desert.

Regarding our business trip, I would be
immensely
grateful if you could book two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
for us in advance. As two colleagues of mine are a couple,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
reserve a double
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for them and a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for me.
Moreover
, I would like to reserve the meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
on Monday from 9 to 11
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we could visit our guests there.

If you require more information,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
feel free to contact me.

Yours
faithfully
,

Aida
Possible spelling mistake found.
Daneshmand
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IELTS letter Write to a hotel manager in another city to book rooms for your and yoyr colleaugues

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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