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Write a letter to your landloard when you rented an apartment a year ago, and your landloard won't return your deposit.

Write a letter to your landloard when you rented an apartment a year ago, and your landloard won't return your deposit. J0da0
Dear Smith, I am doing well. Hope you and your family are doing great. My name is Louis Fabian, and you remember me. I rented on your apartment in 304B at riverside. I lived there a previously year and left the place last month. I am writing this regard to informed you that you didn't refund my payment till now. Which, I deposited as a security, while signed on an agreement. As, you know I have completed my study and now that, I moved back to my hometown. I left your residence in good condition. Consequently, according to your commitment the amount is refundable, but you didn't return it. Even I noticed you in pervious letter or you didn't take it seriously. So that, Once again I asking you get back money as soon as possible. If you are not willing to co-operate with me than I am afraid to take legal action against you and the court will be decide to the whole matter. I am looking forward to hearing your response. Yours Sincerely, Louis Fabain.
Dear Smith, I am doing well. Hope you and your family are doing great. My name is Louis Fabian, and you remember me. I rented on your apartment in 304B at riverside. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
there a
You used an adverb ('previously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('year') instead of another adjective.
previously year
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the place last month.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am writing this regard to informed you that you didn't refund my payment till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Which, I deposited as a security, while signed on an agreement. As, you know I have completed my study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
back to my hometown. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
your residence in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.
Consequently
, according to your commitment the amount is refundable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you didn't return it. Even I noticed you in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pervious
letter or you didn't take it
seriously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, Once again I asking you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back money as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. If you are not willing to co-operate with me than I am afraid to take legal action against you and the court will be
Consider using the past participle "decided"?
decide
to the whole matter. I am looking forward to hearing your response. Yours
Sincerely
, Louis
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fabain
.

IELTS letter Write a letter to your landloard when you rented an apartment a year ago, and your landloard won't return your deposit.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
177 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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