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Write to a hotel and book a room

Write to a hotel and book a room yDWBr

Hi Sir or Mandam, I am writing this letter to book a room at your hotel and to get more information on the places of interest and different activities nearby. I will be arriving with my friends to celebrate my birthday on 4th of November, and leaving on the 7th of November afternoon. Therefore we will stay for 4 days in your hotel. We have six people. So I am looking to book three double rooms with the attached bathroom and great view to the seaside. Would you please tell me the service includes breakfast? Furthermore, I would also like to know if there are any historical sites nearby where we can explore more about the place’s history. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Nguyet.

Hi Sir or Possible spelling mistake found.MadamMan dam
Mandam
,

I am writing this letter to book a room at your hotel and to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 more information on the places of interest and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 activities nearby.

I will be arriving with my friends to celebrate my birthday on 4th of November, and leaving on the 7th of November afternoon. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Therefore,
Therefore
 we will stay for 4 days in your hotel. We have six This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
So
 I am looking to book three double rooms with the attached bathroom and great view to the seaside. Would you This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :satisfy
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :inform
tell
 me the service includes breakfast?

Furthermore
, I would also
 like to know if there are any historical sites nearby where we can explore more about the place’s history.

I look forward to hearing from you and thank you in advance.

Yours faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.Nguyen
Nguyet
. 

IELTS letter Write to a hotel and book a room

Letter

American English

7 paragraphs

133 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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