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Write an email to the gymnasium manager in about 150-200 words. Explain what type of book you wanted to find and why?, Why was sitting arrangement in a sorry state?, What are the things that can be improved soon?

Write an email to the gymnasium manager in about 150-200 words. Explain what type of book you wanted to find and why? , Why was sitting arrangement in a sorry state? , What are the things that can be improved soon? lWmxb
Dear Manager, I am a student in business management at Toronto University. I am writing this email in light of the issues I saw on July 7th at Toronto Public Library located on Elsemere at Jefferson intersection. Although, the library was full with books, I still find it very unfortunate that there was not a single book on Asset and Liability Calculus, which is very important part of Business Management Studies. Setting Aside the problem with the books, the accommodations for the reading area was at it’s worst. There were eight chairs for every table, which further escalated the problem of congestion among the readers. Being the one who had a bad experience, I would suggest some minor alterations that can bring some major changes. Firstly, every table should have no more that four chairs. Secondly, Installation of high tables is necessary for the individuals who wants to read books while on their feet’s. Finally, their should be a book recommendation system in which everyone can suggest the books that they want in the library. I hope you will find my solutions Doable and consider them for upcoming upgradations in Library. Kind Regards Rubalpreet
Dear Manager,

I am a student in business management at Toronto University. I am writing this email in light of the issues I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
on July 7th at Toronto Public Library located on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Elsemere
at Jefferson intersection.

Although, the library was
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, I
still
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfortunate that there was not a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
on Asset and Liability Calculus, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of Business Management Studies.

Setting Aside the problem with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, the accommodations for the reading area was at it’s worst. There were eight chairs for every table, which
further
escalated the problem of congestion among the readers.

Being the one who had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience, I would suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor alterations that can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Firstly
, every table should have no more that four chairs.
Secondly
, Installation of high tables is necessary for the individuals who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'individuals' should be used.
wants
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
while on their feet’s.
Finally
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
recommendation system in which everyone can suggest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that they want in the library. I hope you will find my solutions Doable and consider them for upcoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradations
in Library.

Kind Regards

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rubalpreet

IELTS letter Write an email to the gymnasium manager in about 150-200 words. Explain what type of book you wanted to find and why? , Why was sitting arrangement in a sorry state? , What are the things that can be improved soon?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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