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Write an email (about 150-200 words) to your friend about One great person in the world you have known.

Write an email (about 150-200 words) to your friend about One great person in the world you have known. BYg9X
Dear Chris, It has been a while from our last talk. Hope both of you and your family are still doing well. Remember the time that you ask me about one great person in the world that I have known. Well, I have my answer now. That person is none other than my mom and her name is Loan. My mother is turning 50 this year but many people says that she doesn’t look like a middle-age woman. My mom is a pharmacist and she has been working for a local pharmaceutical company since 1995. She got married with my dad – a civil servent in 1997. My parents are luckily having a happy marriage for over 20 years and I hope it could last forever. My mom looks slim and pretty short with dark brown hair, deep eyes with a stunning smile. She is a passionate worker at work and a great mom at home. Even when how busy her job is, she had never forgot to take a full care of her family. I can’t deny that my mom has a hot head but she is also very friendly and kind. She has been taking part in multiple charity activities for many years and spending amount of her money for them. Physically she is my mom but more over she is my friend and the one who loves me the most. For me, my mom is the greatest person in the world.
Dear Chris,

It has been a while from our last talk. Hope both of you and your family are
still
doing well. Remember the time that you ask me about one great person in the world that I have known. Well, I have my answer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. That person is none other than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
and her name is Loan.

My mother is turning 50 this year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that she doesn’t look like a middle-age woman. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pharmacist and
she has been working for a local pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
since 1995. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married with my dad
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a civil
Possible spelling mistake found.
servent
in 1997. My parents are luckily having a happy marriage for over 20 years and I hope it could last forever. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
looks slim and pretty short with dark brown hair, deep eyes with a stunning smile. She is a passionate worker at work and a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
at home. Even when how busy her job is, she had never
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "forgotten".
forgot
to take a full care of her family. I can’t deny that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
has a hot head
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly and kind. She has been taking part in multiple charity activities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and spending amount of her money for them.
Physically
she is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more over she is my friend and the one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
me the most. For me, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
is the greatest person in the world.
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IELTS letter Write an email (about 150-200 words) to your friend about One great person in the world you have known.

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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