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Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell:

Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell: 9wE0x

Dear Mr. Jacobs, I am writing this letter to request for setting up a cafeteria for our staff members at the earliest. During the last monthly review meeting with my team, I’ve received feedback from several employees about the inconvenience faced by them because of no dedicated space for them to eat their meals. Staff members often end up eating at their desks. Some employees are living by themselves in the city and they have no other option but step out of office to get themselves meals. I am concerned about this situation as employees often end up eating junk food and cold meals, which in-turn impacts their health. Many employees call in sick often. Not only this, some employees have a thought of quitting their jobs which could result in substantial loss of the organization and, with us getting a huge projects, we must work toward a solution. We understand that we do not have enough space at our premises for a dedicated cafeteria, but I have a suggestion for this problem. We have an enough space right next to parking lot which could be converted to a break room. We can install microwave oven, so employees can also warm their food. I hope you will take a swift action in this regards and consider my suggestions. Yours Sincerely, Nick Smith

Dear Mr. Jacobs,

I am writing this letter to request for setting up a cafeteria for our staff members at the earliest.

During the last monthly review meeting with my team, I’ve received feedback from several You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 about the inconvenience faced by them This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of no dedicated space for them to eat their meals. Staff members This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 up eating at their desks. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 are living by themselves in the Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).city, and
city and
 they have no other option This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 step out of office to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 themselves meals.

I am concerned
 about this situation as You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 up eating junk food and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :chillyfrosty
cold
 meals, which in-turn impacts their health. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 call in sick This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
. Not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 this, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 have a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonedassumedbelievedconsidered
thought
 of quitting their jobs which could result in substantial loss of the organization and, with us getting a huge Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "project"?project
projects
, we This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 work toward a solution.

We understand that we do not have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 space at our premises for a dedicated cafeteria, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 I have a suggestion for this problem. We have an This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 space right next
 to parking lot which could be converted
 to a break room. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
 can install microwave oven, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmemberlaborerclerkworkeragentrepresentative
employees
 can also
 warm their food.

I hope you will take a swift action in Did you mean "these"?these
this
 regards and consider my suggestions.

Yours Sincerely
,

Nick Smith

IELTS letter Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell:

Letter

American English

8 paragraphs

221 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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