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a friend of yours thinks spending time is not important

a friend of yours thinks spending time is not important RRP7k
Dear Danny! How are you today? I hope you are going well. Thanks for the last email. Two hours ago, I read your status on Twitter about spending time with family. I thought I should write an email to share my opinion on the matter. I hope my comments will help you. I think you think spending time with family is not important. because you are too tired after tiring working days want to take time to rest and relax or travel to not spend time with family. You think that spending time with your family is a waste of your time and makes you more tired. But those are very negative thoughts, after tiring working days, you should come home and spend more time with your family, talk to family members more. That will make you less stressed and happier. through which your relationship with your family will become better. They will give you more strength and motivation to try. During that time I was also very stressed and tired with no time to spend with my family and I think like you. But when I receive phone calls from my family, I no longer feel tired and more relaxed, happier. So try to spend time with your family. You can go on a trip with them. party or simply chat or watch a movie with them. I hope after my tips you can change your mind about spending time with family. If you have any questions, call me. I will definitely help you i hope to hear from you soon love, Pthao
Dear Danny!

How are you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
? I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hope
you are going well. Thanks for the last email. Two hours ago, I read your status on Twitter about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I should write an email to share my opinion on the matter. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hope
my comments will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
you are too tired after tiring working days want to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest and relax or travel to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. You
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a waste of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more tired.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts, after tiring working days, you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members more. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and happier.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
through
which your relationship with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will become better. They will give you more strength and motivation to try.

During that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I was
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and tired with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
like you.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I receive phone calls from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I no longer feel tired and more relaxed, happier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. You can go on a trip with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
party
or
simply
chat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie with them.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hope
after my tips you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your mind about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If you have any questions, call me. I will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you

Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hope
to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Pthao
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IELTS letter a friend of yours thinks spending time is not important

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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