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Write a letter to your friend for part time job in other country

Write a letter to your friend for part time job in other country lx1dJ
Dear Andrea, How are you and your family? It seems much longer since we were last in touch. I haven’t forgotten the wonderful time that we spend together last year You’ll glad to know that I have got admission in undergraduate course in food and production at University of Stanford. It will be just half an hour drive from your address. So, will be coming to you in the mid of March. I am thinking of doing part time job as you know the cost of living in London is quiet expensive. Therefore, I want to support my studies on my own as well to my parents because already they have taken loan for sending me abroad. With the job I can easily repay their loan n make them financially stable. You have been living in London since 5 years so prominently you’ll help me in introducing to the job consultants. In addition to this, you can suggest my name in your organisation for the position of marketing manager. Please write soon. With regards, Kristinia
Dear Andrea, How are you and your family? It seems much longer since we were last in touch. I haven’t forgotten the wonderful time that we spend together last year You’ll glad to know that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission in undergraduate course in food and production at University of Stanford. It will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half an hour drive from your address.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, will be coming to you in the mid of March. I am thinking of doing
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job as you know the cost of living in London is quiet expensive.
Therefore
, I want to support my studies on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as well
to my parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
already they have taken loan for sending me abroad. With the job I can
easily
repay their loan n
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
financially
stable. You have been living in London since 5 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prominently
you’ll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in introducing to the job consultants.
In addition
to this, you can suggest my name in your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for the position of marketing manager.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. With regards,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Kristinia
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IELTS letter Write a letter to your friend for part time job in other country

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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