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write a letter to the singer. in your letter say how u feel about perf

write a letter to the singer. in your letter say how u feel about perf wBOYr
Dear Mr. Jackie, I am writing this letter to you attending your concert in London last week. I am your biggest fan and it was a dream come true moment for me. The reason I am expressing my feeling here is your performance on the stage was a heart-touching experience.  Which made the crowd, including me dance relentlessly. I felt your energy how you sang and create an entertaining atmosphere for everyone.  However, the show finished soon, but it was a pleasure to see you live. I would like to share with you my musical interest that is playing guitar. Even though I have been playing for 3 years but could not reach your level. In spite of a lot of practice, I am still lacking in a few areas. Kindly help me to improve my musical skills so that I can perform better. If you can provide me some personal classes in your studio, I will grateful to you. I hope you do the needful. Yours Sincerely.
Dear Mr. Jackie,

I am writing this letter to you attending your concert in London
‘last week’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last week
. I am your biggest fan and it was a dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true moment for me.

The reason I am expressing my feeling here is your performance on the stage was a heart-touching experience.  Which made the crowd, including me dance
relentlessly
. I felt your energy how you sang and create an entertaining atmosphere for everyone.  
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
finished 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was a pleasure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

I would like to share with you my musical interest
that is
playing guitar.
Even though
I have been playing for 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could not reach your level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practice, I am
still
lacking in a few areas.

Kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
 my musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can perform better. If you can provide me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal classes in your studio, I
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will grateful
to you.

I hope you do the needful.

Yours
Sincerely
.

IELTS letter write a letter to the singer. in your letter say how u feel about perf

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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