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WRITE A LETTER TO THE MANAGER OF YOUR COMPANY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A TRAINING COURSE MENTION THE FOLLOWING WHAT KIND OF TRAINING IT IS HOW IT WILL BENEFIT YOUR JOB HOW YOU ARE GOING TO ARRANGE IT WITH YOUR WORK SCHEDULE

WRITE A LETTER TO THE MANAGER OF YOUR COMPANY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A TRAINING COURSE MENTION THE FOLLOWING WHAT KIND OF TRAINING IT IS HOW IT WILL BENEFIT YOUR JOB HOW YOU ARE GOING TO ARRANGE IT WITH YOUR WORK SCHEDULE Ajaxw
Dear Sir, I am Jonny, working as Senior Executive in your team from past 6 months. I would like to request permission from you for attending the vocational computer training programme held by Human Resources department, which is scheduled for next term. I regret to say that I missed previous trainings because of my health problems. However, this time I am very excited to take this opportunity for betterment of my career. As you know, our every day work is intermingled with knowledge of computer and related technology for instance drafting to digital presentation minimum computer skills is must. Especially in my work arena where everything work around software and data analytics computer knowledge is utmost important. After consulting HR manager to know details and timings of training I opted 3 morning sessions i. e 10 to 11 am from Monday to Wednesday and 2 evening modules from 5. 30 to 6. 30PM. I promise that these training times will not disturb my regular official activities as I am going to compensate these timings by working an extra hour everyday. I hope my decision will get your accord and support.
Dear Sir,

I am Jonny, working as Senior Executive in your team from past 6 months. I would like to request permission from you for attending the vocational computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
held by Human Resources department, which
is scheduled
for
next
term.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
regret to say that I missed previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my health problems.
However
, this time I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to take this opportunity for betterment of my career. As you know, our every day work
is intermingled
with knowledge of computer and related technology
for instance
drafting to digital presentation minimum computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.

Especially
in my work arena where everything work around software and data analytics computer knowledge is utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. After consulting HR manager to know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and timings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
I opted 3 morning sessions i. e 10 to 11 am from Monday to Wednesday and 2 evening modules from 5. 30 to 6. 30PM. I promise that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
times will not disturb my regular official activities as I am going to compensate these timings by working an extra hour
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. I hope my decision will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your accord and support.
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IELTS letter WRITE A LETTER TO THE MANAGER OF YOUR COMPANY THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A TRAINING COURSE MENTION THE FOLLOWING WHAT KIND OF TRAINING IT IS HOW IT WILL BENEFIT YOUR JOB HOW YOU ARE GOING TO ARRANGE IT WITH YOUR WORK SCHEDULE

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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