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write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. explain your situation, describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it.

write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. explain your situation, describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it. PRXNp
Dear Ms Rose. My name is Nikolay and I am 22 years old student from Moldova. This year, my parents won green card and we plan to immigrate to USA. We will live in California San Diego city, your university is a closest to our house. In my family, I have five sisters and seven brothers that is why I ask you to give me a room in commune. I would like a self-room with a big window looking at the sea, with air conditioning and ventilation system. In Moldova, I had to work at construction and carry heavy bricks to the last floor so by this reason I have a problem with my back. I cannot sleep at solid mattress and I ask you to change mattress in my room to a new one, which will be soft and ergonomic and will suit me. We plan to arrive to California next week, so it is not enough time to resolve all requests. I hope you can do it, so I do not have to write to the organization for the protection of Moldovan migrants. Your Sincerely Nikolay
Dear Ms Rose.

My name is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Nikolay and
I am 22 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
student from Moldova. This year, my parents won green
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
card and
we plan to immigrate
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the USA".
to USA
. We will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in California San Diego city, your university is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
closest to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In my family, I have five sisters and seven brothers
that is
why I ask you to give me a room in commune.

I would like a self-room with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
window looking at the sea, with air conditioning and ventilation system. In Moldova, I had to work at construction and carry heavy bricks to the last floor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by this reason I have a problem with my back. I cannot sleep at solid mattress and I ask you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mattress in my room to a new one, which will be soft and ergonomic and will suit me.

We plan to arrive to California
next
week,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to resolve all requests. I hope you can do it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
write to the organization for the protection of Moldovan migrants.

Your
Sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Nikolay
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IELTS letter write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. explain your situation, describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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