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Write a letter to a financial firm that gives a money to students who would like to take a part time course.

Write a letter to a financial firm that gives a money to students who would like to take a part time course. MBgdQ

Dear Sir or madam, My name is Sunil and I am writing to gather some information on the student loan scheme that your firm offers who wish to pursue their part time course for skill development. To begin with, I have enclosed the copy of curriculum vitae, that tells about my work experience as well as qualifications details. I owe a degree in pharmacy and works for a pharmaceutical industry from past five years. I have realised lately, that a computer skills would help me further advancement in my career and also work efficiently in my work areas. The course which I am planning to apply for offers a six month curriculum long that aimed at enhancing the computer skills for professionals. The name of the course is 'Computer Skill Management' that includes like Microsoft word, Excel and designing. As designing and other tools are added advantage in my professional. I was wondering if you could help out to take up this course by assisting by financially, so that it will help full to me as well as other team members of my company. Thank you for accepting my offer and look forward to hearing your prompt response from you, Yours faithfully, Sunil J

Dear Sir or madam, My name is Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Sunil, and
Sunil and
 I am writing to gather This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 information on the student loan scheme that your firm offers who wish to pursue their This word is normally spelled with hyphen.part-time
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdexterityartistryaccomplishmentprowessingenuityart
skill
 development. To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, I have enclosed the copy of curriculum vitae, that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :informs
tells
 about my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 experience as well
 as qualifications This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :particulars
details
. I owe a degree in pharmacy and works for a pharmaceutical industry from past five years. I have Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.realized
realised
 lately, that a computer You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdexterityartistryaccomplishmentprowessingenuityart
skills
 would This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 me further
 advancement in my career and also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
efficiently
 in my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 areas. The You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 which I am planning to apply for offers a When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "six-month"six-month
six month
 curriculum long that aimed at enhancing the computer You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdexterityartistryaccomplishmentprowessingenuityart
skills
 for professionals. The name of the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 is 'Computer You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdexterityartistryaccomplishmentprowessingenuityart
Skill
 Management' that includes like Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Word" (= Microsoft product)?Microsoft Word
Microsoft word
, Excel and designing. As designing and other tools are This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accrued
added
 advantage in my professional. I was wondering if you could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 out to take up this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 by assisting by financially
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that it will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 full to me as well
 as other team members of my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
. Thank you for accepting my offer and look forward to hearing your prompt response from you,

Yours faithfully
, Sunil J