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Write a letter to a financial firm that gives a money to students who would like to take a part time course.

Write a letter to a financial firm that gives a money to students who would like to take a part time course. MBgdQ
Dear Sir or madam, My name is Sunil and I am writing to gather some information on the student loan scheme that your firm offers who wish to pursue their part time course for skill development. To begin with, I have enclosed the copy of curriculum vitae, that tells about my work experience as well as qualifications details. I owe a degree in pharmacy and works for a pharmaceutical industry from past five years. I have realised lately, that a computer skills would help me further advancement in my career and also work efficiently in my work areas. The course which I am planning to apply for offers a six month curriculum long that aimed at enhancing the computer skills for professionals. The name of the course is 'Computer Skill Management' that includes like Microsoft word, Excel and designing. As designing and other tools are added advantage in my professional. I was wondering if you could help out to take up this course by assisting by financially, so that it will help full to me as well as other team members of my company. Thank you for accepting my offer and look forward to hearing your prompt response from you, Yours faithfully, Sunil J
Dear Sir or madam, My name is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Sunil and
I am writing to gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information on the student loan scheme that your firm offers who wish to pursue their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
development. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I have enclosed the copy of curriculum vitae, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience
as well
as qualifications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. I owe a degree in pharmacy and works for a pharmaceutical industry from past five years. I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
lately, that a computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
further
advancement in my career and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
areas. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which I am planning to apply for offers a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "six-month"
six month
curriculum long that aimed at enhancing the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for professionals. The name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is 'Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Skill
Management' that includes like
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Word" (= Microsoft product)?
Microsoft word
, Excel and designing. As designing and other tools are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage in my professional. I was wondering if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out to take up this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
by assisting by
financially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
full to me
as well
as other team members of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Thank you for accepting my offer and look forward to hearing your prompt response from you,

Yours
faithfully
, Sunil J
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IELTS letter Write a letter to a financial firm that gives a money to students who would like to take a part time course.

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
203 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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