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Write a letter to a business man for job

Write a letter to a business man for job NwVaq
Dear Mike, My name is Hossein, we have met each other last week on flight from Vancouver to Toronto. As you may recall, we were seated next to each other and chatted all the way from departure to destination. In the middle of chat, you favored me and said that you may have a job for me in your restaurants. You suggested me to contact you on this matter. As I have studied accounting in the university, I think I will make a good accountant for on of your branches. Maybe I can take the position of financial advisor if you become satisfied with my performance enough. I topped my undergraduate course, done some apprenticeship in huge companies and worked in this field for five years. I have just been accepted for master degree in financial management and took MBA course last year. I am pretty good at math and willing to be a key member of a huge team. Therefore, I think I will make a valuable part of your business. I really thank you for giving me this opportunity to apply for a job and looking forward to start working for you. With best regards. Hossein
Dear Mike,

My name is Hossein, we have met each other last week on flight from Vancouver to Toronto. As you may recall, we
were seated
next
to each other and chatted all the way from departure to destination.

In the middle of chat, you favored me and said that you may have a job for me in your restaurants. You suggested me to contact you on this matter. As I have studied accounting in the university, I
think
I will
make
a
good
accountant for on of your branches. Maybe I can take the position of financial advisor if you become satisfied with my performance
enough
.

I topped my undergraduate course, done
some
apprenticeship in huge
companies
and worked in this field for five years. I have
just
been
accepted
for master degree in financial management and took MBA course last year.
I
am pretty
good
at math and willing to be a key member of a huge team.
Therefore
, I
think
I will
make
a valuable part of your business.

I
really
thank you for giving me this opportunity to apply for a job and looking forward to
start
working for you.

With best regards.

Hossein
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IELTS letter Write a letter to a business man for job

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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