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South Korea and visited the outdoor seafood market

South Korea and visited the outdoor seafood market KVGmN
I'm a big fan of K-pop and Korean drama, so I've always wanted to be in that country once. Fortunately, I had the opportunity to go to South Korea and visited the outdoor seafood market there. I'm really impressed by the beauty the relaxed atmosphere here and that makes me want to come back again when I get the chance. In the summer vacation, my family and I had a small trip to the South Korea and that time we paid a visit to an island by ship. When I saw the market directly near me, I really took the busy scene here by surprise, I found it very interesting. The market contained a range of shops next to each other, displayed tons of seafood types for merchandising (ranging from fish to other ocean creatures: crab, shrimp, seaweed, …) are sold very diversely and abundantly. The seafood here is always fresh because caught by local fishermen at the crack of dawn on a daily basis. As for wholesalers, they collected seafood at bargain prices then distributed to retailers in city centers or supermarkets. I always wanted to go there and real-life seafood market lived up to my expectations. The only inconvenience is the road around the market was wet and difficult to move when the water was swift-flowing. This trip means a lot to me and my family and I will definitely experience it with my family many more times.
I'm a
big
fan of K-pop and Korean drama,
so
I've always wanted to be in that country once.
Fortunately
, I had the opportunity to go to South Korea and visited the outdoor seafood
market
there. I'm
really
impressed by the beauty the relaxed atmosphere here and that
makes
me want to
come
back again when I
get
the chance. In the summer vacation, my family and I had a
small
trip to the South Korea and that time we paid a visit to an island by ship. When I
saw
the
market
directly
near me, I
really
took the busy scene here by surprise, I found it
very
interesting. The
market
contained a range of shops
next
to each other, displayed tons of seafood types for merchandising (ranging from fish to other ocean creatures: crab, shrimp, seaweed, …)
are sold
very
diversely
and
abundantly
. The seafood here is always fresh
because
caught by local fishermen at the crack of dawn on a daily basis. As for wholesalers, they collected seafood at bargain prices then distributed to retailers in city centers or supermarkets. I always wanted to go there and real-life seafood
market
lived
up to my expectations. The
only
inconvenience is the road around the
market
was wet and difficult to
move
when the water was swift-flowing. This trip means a lot to me and my family and I will definitely experience it with my family
many
more times.
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IELTS letter South Korea and visited the outdoor seafood market

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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