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would like to tell you about my school ..........

would like to tell you about my school. . . . . . . . . . Awp9X
Hi guys, Welcome to my school. If you are a freshman or are visiting this school for the first time, I can show you around my school, like thecampus, areas for study, the library, and school departments. Let me introduce something about myself. I've been studying at this school for 2 years and I majorin auditor here. So I think I should take you to the library or areas for study. First, I'd like to tell you about my school. As you know, there are so many basic schools. and you are visiting a base that is located in district 10. Exactly, it is 279 Nguyen Tri Phuong Street. As I mentioned before, I would take you to a place where students always go to do assignments or look for documentaries. Yeah, that is the library with the spacious rooms and modern facilities. Students can easily do whatever they want. It's very comfortable to focus on the deadline here. When you go to the library, you will meet a person who manages books here and will show you how to use them. Her name is Ha. Next, I would take you to the finance department of the school. You will also see a person who keeps money and manages them carefully. The last, if you go to the main room of the block A, you will encounter a  teacher who is the head of this school. Exactly that's professor'su dinh hung'. Overall, all of them are very approachable and accommodating. You can ask them questions about assignments, information about school, or other problems in life. I am sure that they're willing to explain and care for you fully and clearly. They're really dedicated to their students.
Hi guys, Welcome to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If you are a freshman or are visiting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the
first
time, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you around my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, like
Possible spelling mistake found.
thecampus
, areas for study, the library, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
departments.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me introduce something about myself. I've been studying at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for 2 years and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
majorin
auditor here.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I should take you to the library or areas for study.
First
, I'd like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. As you know, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
 you are visiting a base that
is located
in district 10. Exactly, it is 279 Nguyen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tri
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phuong
Street. As I mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I would take you to a place where students always go to do assignments or look for documentaries. Yeah,
that is
the library with the spacious rooms and modern facilities. Students can
easily
do whatever they want. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable to focus on the deadline here. When you go to the library, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a person who manages books here and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them. Her name is Ha.
Next
, I would take you to the finance department of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. You will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
money and manages them 
carefully
. The last, if you go to the main room of the block A, you will encounter a
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
teacher who is the head of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Exactly that's professor'
Possible spelling mistake found.
su
Possible spelling mistake found.
dinh
hung'.
Overall
, all of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
approachable and accommodating. You can ask them questions about assignments, information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, or other problems in life. I am sure that they're willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and care for you
fully
and
clearly
. They're
really
dedicated to their students.
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IELTS letter would like to tell you about my school. . . . . . . . . .

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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