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Visited museum with elder relative find it difficult to explore it

Visited museum with elder relative find it difficult to explore it rWRm
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to express my deep dissatisfaction regarding the facilities in museum, which is under your counseling wright now. Though, the museum is well maintained and gives lots of information about our history but still there are some error which is bothering while exploring it, specifically to older generation. Last week I visited the museum with my grandmother mother, she is huge fan of history and always enthusiastic to visit historical places. It was her birthday, so we decided to visit museum on this jubilant moment, but unfortunately it was not for good experience for her, because got lot of trouble to explore it. The museum is too big. My grandmother is in her 80s now and at this age almost all people find difficulty to walk for longer time. Well, I want request you to improve the facilities like add some wheelchairs, so no one face any difficulty in future to a take a glimpse of such a magnificent structure of the museum and historical displays. Your Sincerely, Renuka Gandhare.
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to express my deep dissatisfaction regarding the facilities in
museum
, which is under your counseling wright
now
. Though, the
museum
is well maintained and gives lots of information about our history
but
still
there are
some
error which is bothering while exploring it,
specifically
to older generation.

Last week I visited the
museum
with my grandmother mother, she is huge fan of history and always enthusiastic to visit historical places. It was her birthday,
so
we decided to visit
museum
on this jubilant moment,
but
unfortunately it was not for
good
experience for her,
because
got
lot of
trouble to explore it. The
museum
is too
big
. My grandmother is in her 80s
now
and at this age almost all
people
find difficulty to walk for longer time.

Well, I want request you to
improve
the facilities like
add
some
wheelchairs,
so
no one face any difficulty in future to a take a glimpse of such a magnificent structure of the
museum
and historical displays.

Your
Sincerely
,

Renuka
Gandhare
.
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IELTS letter Visited museum with elder relative find it difficult to explore it

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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