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Violent program being shown in the early morning

Violent program being shown in the early morning WmPrK
Dear sir/madam, I am writing you to inform about the inconvenience that occurred this morning. Today at 7 o'clock a. m. I happened to see extreme violence of several men over their wives on the program "Women's voice". I consider human rights, women rights and children rights are crucial to be protected. As a human I am responsible to care of every women in our world, as well. I do not have any issues preventing human kind. However, I have to study and work for the whole day that require eneedy and good mood. After watching this program I couldn't concentrate on my studies and did ineffective job at work. In my opinion the program you release in the early morning is not on the right time. It would be better you think about changing the topic that can be entertaining instead of harming their feelings. Your morning program is more suitable for the late afternoon. I hope you will consider about it and looking forward to your response. Umida
Dear sir/madam, I am writing you to inform about the inconvenience that occurred this morning.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
at
Redundant phrase. Consider using "7 o'clock" or "7 a.m".
7 o'clock a. m
. I happened to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
extreme violence of several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
over their wives on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Women's voice
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I consider human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are crucial to
be protected
. As a human I am responsible to care of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "woman"?
women
in our world,
as well
. I do not have any issues preventing human kind.
However
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study and work for the whole day that require
Possible spelling mistake found.
eneedy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood. After watching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
I couldn't concentrate on my studies and did ineffective job at work. In my opinion the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
you release in the early morning is not on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
time. It would be better you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about changing the topic that can be entertaining
instead
of harming their feelings. Your morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is more suitable for the late afternoon. I hope you will
Did you mean simply "consider it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about it
and looking forward to your response.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Umida
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IELTS letter Violent program being shown in the early morning

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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