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university addmition for study abroad

university addmition for study abroad gGRpg
Dear Professor W. J. Zhang I am a graduate student of mechanical engineering from Azad university, Iran. I chose to work on new hybrid machining for advanced materials as my M. sc. thesis. In fact, I am very interested in manufacturing process. I have reviewed your research profile and found myself quite interested in your research especially about manufacturing processes and I was wondering if there is any open PhD position in your research group. Joining the graduate program (or your research group) at the University of Saskatchewan and working under your supervision, gives me a great chance to work in these fields. I would appreciate you if you kindly review my CV attached to this email. Thanks for your time and consideration. Best regards, Pooya bahrami
Dear Professor W. J. Zhang

I am a graduate student of mechanical engineering from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azad
university, Iran. I chose to work on new hybrid machining for advanced materials as my
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
M. sc.
thesis. In fact, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in manufacturing process. I have reviewed your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
profile and found myself quite interested in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
especially
about manufacturing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
processes and
I was wondering if there is any open PhD position in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
group. Joining the graduate program (or your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
group) at the University of Saskatchewan and working under your supervision, gives me a great chance to work in these fields. I would appreciate you if you kindly review my CV attached to this email. Thanks for your time and consideration.

Best regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Pooya
Possible spelling mistake found.
bahrami
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IELTS letter university addmition for study abroad

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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