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Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v.2

Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, Two weeks ago I purchased a radio from your store. I was excited to purchase it but disappointed to find that it was faulty. I returned the product with the hope that you would either replace it or repair it but to my dismay, nothing has been done so far. I am hoping that you would either replace or repair it within the next three days. In relation to the specifics of the order, I bought the radio from your shop from the Blue street branch. But, it was an utter disappointment when the brand new radio was not working as it should have been. The issue with the radio is that it does not tune in to the common channels except for one or two. I talked to your representatives in the shop and they agreed to repair it within a couple of days. Now, it has been a week and the radio is not yet ready. Whenever I call the shop, one of your salesmen promises to deliver the radio within a day. But it is not done yet and all I got is apology and regret. The order number is 587416 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. As a solution, and because I really like the functionality of the radio, please repair the radio within the next three days or replace it with a new one. Otherwise, I will be forced to complain to higher management. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Abedi
Dear Sir or Madam,

Two weeks ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
from your store. I
was excited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
disappointed to find that it was faulty. I returned the product with the hope that you would either replace it or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to my dismay, nothing has
been done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would either replace or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
it within the
next
three days.

In relation to the specifics of the order, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
from your shop from the Blue street branch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it was an utter disappointment when the
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
was not working as it should have been. The issue with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is that it does not tune in to the common channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
one or two. I talked to your representatives in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shop and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
it within a couple of days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, it has been a week and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is not
yet
ready. Whenever I call the shop, one of your salesmen promises to deliver the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
within a day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not done
yet
and all I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
is apology and regret. The order number is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
587416 and
I am attaching a copy of my receipt.

As a solution, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
really
like the functionality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repair
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
within the
next
three days or replace it with a new one.
Otherwise
, I will
be forced
to complain to higher management.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mansoor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abedi
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS letter Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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