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TV violance program for family entertainment

TV violance program for family entertainment OrLM7
Dear sir, I am a father of 2 daughters. Our family always sits down to watch the television every morning after breakfast. I believe that this is the time for family to spend together. So regularly we always like to watch family comedies or other such programs. But yesterday the family program that we always like to watch, was totally got way out of line. The program is about a father who is drunk and likes to hurt his own children. I find That this is absolutely not ok to be shown at a time like this. However, I would really recommend the TV station to change the time from morning to evening. Because I found the content of this program too much for a child to be seen at the age 7 years old. So I decided to write this letter to the manager of this show. I will no longer be watching any of the shows unless it is moved to a later time slot. Therefore I would ask you to ensure that family entertainment morning program are suitable for the time.
Dear sir,

I am a father of 2 daughters. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
always sits down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the television every morning after breakfast. I believe that this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to spend together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
regularly
we always like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
comedies or other such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
yesterday the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
that we always like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, was
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
way out of line. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is about a father who
is drunk
and likes to hurt his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
children. I find That this is
absolutely
not ok to
be shown
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
like this.
However
, I would
really
recommend the TV station to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from morning to evening.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I found the content of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
too much for a child to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at the age 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I decided to write this letter to the manager of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. I will no longer be watching any of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
unless it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
slot.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I would ask you to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
entertainment morning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
are suitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.

IELTS letter TV violance program for family entertainment

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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