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To succeed in a business one should know math's. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To succeed in a business one should know math's. bO76q
Some people believe that to flourish in a business people only know mathematics. I totally disagree with this notion. Some people think that learning math is the key to a successful business and rich life. Therefore most parents send their children to tutors to study math from an early age. They believe that their children learn math well and find their way in life. But this is not always the case. Math need for to run a business, do calculations, calculate income and expenses, calculate taxes, to sign a profitable contract with other companies. That's why they believe knowing mathematics is the only way to get out of poverty and live a rich life. There are several skills and talents to succeed in a business. First and foremost, businessman or businesswoman shoul be sociable, articulate and be able to predict the outcome of an event. This skills can help them to sign a profitable and successfully contracts, also this is a key to communicate openly and sincerely with workers. Secondly, people have a financial literacy, just like in 'Rich dad, Poor dad'. This is the main aspect too. A person with a good financial education does not work to earn money, he/she forces money to work for himself. As I said above, learning math is the small aspect of a rich life. If you do not have a financial literacy, your business will not flourish and succeed. In the fact, that 40% of the world's billionaires have not even graduated from college. In conclusion, some people believe that knowing mathematics is the main reason to a effective business but there are skills other than math to make a successful business career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that to flourish in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know mathematics. I
totally
disagree with this notion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is the key to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
most parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to tutors to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
from an early age. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that their children learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
well and find their way in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this is not always the case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
need for to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, do calculations, calculate income and expenses, calculate taxes, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
a profitable contract with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. That's why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
knowing mathematics is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of poverty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talents to succeed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
First
and foremost, businessman or businesswoman
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoul
be sociable, articulate and be able to predict the outcome of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
a profitable and
successfully
contracts,
also
this is a key to communicate
openly
and
sincerely
with workers.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a financial literacy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like in 'Rich dad, Poor dad'. This is the main aspect too. A person with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
financial education does not work to earn money, he/she forces money to work for himself. As I said above, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
aspect of a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If you do not have a financial literacy, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will not flourish and succeed. In the fact, that 40% of the world's billionaires have not even graduated from college.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that knowing mathematics is the main reason to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
career.
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IELTS letter To succeed in a business one should know math's.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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