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Write a letter to your manager about a computer system problem that you encountered

Write a letter to your manager about a computer system problem that you encountered wmL2Y
Dear Mr Raman, I know you usually do not hear from me; however, today, I must inform you of the severe and gating problems resulting from my PC along with its impact on my deliverables and the solutions I propose. This started happening after recent software update of Global Trading System. To eloborate, the issue with my setup is that my double monitor is not working as expected, all the trading screens are not visible hiding crucial financial data, leaving me vulnerable to mistakes. To workaround this problem, I am manually expanding windows to ensure I am not missing any datapoint before placing any trade with the brokers. This additional check is putting additional stress on my brain and adding to the total execution time. As you know, the quarter ends in 2 days and we need to roll our Option orders before that. I am feeling with the currently setup that timeline is a little tight. It would greatly heap, if you can raise a service incident with highest priority with IT team and have them fix this issue on priority, and while this happens I can function from the backup PC that we have. Apart from that, I would appreciate if we can get any help from the cross asset trading team with our rolls, I can quickly train someone and we can make this timeline. Looking forward to a swift resolution of this crippling issue. Yours Sincerely, Harshvardhan Dadhich
Dear Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raman
,

I know you
usually
do not hear from me;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
inform you of the severe and gating problems resulting from my PC along with its impact on my deliverables and the solutions I propose.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
happening after recent software update of Global Trading System. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
eloborate
, the issue with my setup is that my double monitor is not working as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, all the trading screens are not visible hiding crucial financial data, leaving me vulnerable to mistakes.

To workaround this problem, I am
manually
expanding windows to ensure I am not missing any
Possible spelling mistake found.
datapoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
placing any trade with the brokers. This additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
is putting additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on my brain and adding to the total execution time. As you know, the quarter ends in 2
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
we need to roll our Option orders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that. I am feeling with the
currently
setup that timeline is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
tight.

It would
greatly
heap, if you can raise a service incident with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
priority with IT team and have them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this issue on priority, and while this happens I can function from the backup PC that we have. Apart from that, I would appreciate if we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the cross asset trading team with our rolls, I can
quickly
train
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
someone and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this timeline.

Looking forward to a swift resolution of this crippling issue.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Harshvardhan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dadhich
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IELTS letter Write a letter to your manager about a computer system problem that you encountered

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
241 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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